History or His Story?
So I was talking to my 17-year-old niece and I was asking her about her studies at school and what she planned to do when she finished high school. She said the usual things that she thinks she’s supposed to say, and then she proclaimed that she wanted to learn Spanish when she got to college. I inquired why she was now interested in learning the language when she hadn’t been before. She sadly told me that she was tired of how people who do speak Spanish treat her when they find out that she doesn’t speak Spanish, they make her feel ashamed. Hearing this, I was taken back to bitter memories of my youth, and I instantly felt sympathy for the young one, and anger flashed red in my mind. I recalled all the instances I had been asked, “What kind of Mexican are you?”, or “how can you call yourself Mexican when you don’t even speak the language?” Older people, upon finding out I didn’t speak Spanish, would always look at me like I took a shit in my hand and offered them a taste. Then I would have to hear about how sorry they felt for me. Even as a 10-year-old child I wanted to hurt these people, leave scars so they would remember my anger, for they all tried to imply that my mother was a bad mom for not teaching me Spanish, and that pissed me off more than anything!
So I asked my niece, “Do you know what language we spoke before we spoke Spanish? What language was spoken in Mexico before the Spanish arrived?” She of course did not know. I told her that her great-grandfather used to speak the language when he was drunk, and only when he was drunk because he was taught to be ashamed of it, taught to be ashamed of who he truly was! She just stared at me wide-eyed. I then asked her, “Do you know how they taught us the language?” Again she didn’t know. I told her that the Spanish soldiers would ask the Aztec children questions, and if they answered in Nahuatl, the Aztec language, the soldiers would start cutting things off, a finger or a hand. If the child was unable to speak the Spanish language, the tongue was usually cut out after the head was chopped off! Our ancestors were raped and tortured into speaking the language these people are so proud of.
Once I learned the history of my culture, the true history, nobody ever made me feel ashamed ever again. Any time anyone would try, I would simply ask them the same questions I asked my niece. 99% of the people I talked to were ignorant of their own culture, and I would always ask, “What kind of Mexican doesn’t know his own history?” Spanish is not our original language; our original language is almost gone and the people who do speak the language are treated like dirt in their own land! If you believe in hell, than the Spanish conquistadors are burning there and they are laughing their asses off, because not only did they conquer the Aztec nation, but they have completely erased our original culture and replaced it with their own. A “Matrix”, in some form, really does exist! It’s like one of those hologram pictures in the mall, the ones you have to stare at for a while before you can actually see the real picture. If you look long enough, hard enough, at the world around you, you will see it! But then again, I know people who can stare for hours and never see what’s right in front of their faces!
So I was talking to my 17-year-old niece and I was asking her about her studies at school and what she planned to do when she finished high school. She said the usual things that she thinks she’s supposed to say, and then she proclaimed that she wanted to learn Spanish when she got to college. I inquired why she was now interested in learning the language when she hadn’t been before. She sadly told me that she was tired of how people who do speak Spanish treat her when they find out that she doesn’t speak Spanish, they make her feel ashamed. Hearing this, I was taken back to bitter memories of my youth, and I instantly felt sympathy for the young one, and anger flashed red in my mind. I recalled all the instances I had been asked, “What kind of Mexican are you?”, or “how can you call yourself Mexican when you don’t even speak the language?” Older people, upon finding out I didn’t speak Spanish, would always look at me like I took a shit in my hand and offered them a taste. Then I would have to hear about how sorry they felt for me. Even as a 10-year-old child I wanted to hurt these people, leave scars so they would remember my anger, for they all tried to imply that my mother was a bad mom for not teaching me Spanish, and that pissed me off more than anything!
So I asked my niece, “Do you know what language we spoke before we spoke Spanish? What language was spoken in Mexico before the Spanish arrived?” She of course did not know. I told her that her great-grandfather used to speak the language when he was drunk, and only when he was drunk because he was taught to be ashamed of it, taught to be ashamed of who he truly was! She just stared at me wide-eyed. I then asked her, “Do you know how they taught us the language?” Again she didn’t know. I told her that the Spanish soldiers would ask the Aztec children questions, and if they answered in Nahuatl, the Aztec language, the soldiers would start cutting things off, a finger or a hand. If the child was unable to speak the Spanish language, the tongue was usually cut out after the head was chopped off! Our ancestors were raped and tortured into speaking the language these people are so proud of.
Once I learned the history of my culture, the true history, nobody ever made me feel ashamed ever again. Any time anyone would try, I would simply ask them the same questions I asked my niece. 99% of the people I talked to were ignorant of their own culture, and I would always ask, “What kind of Mexican doesn’t know his own history?” Spanish is not our original language; our original language is almost gone and the people who do speak the language are treated like dirt in their own land! If you believe in hell, than the Spanish conquistadors are burning there and they are laughing their asses off, because not only did they conquer the Aztec nation, but they have completely erased our original culture and replaced it with their own. A “Matrix”, in some form, really does exist! It’s like one of those hologram pictures in the mall, the ones you have to stare at for a while before you can actually see the real picture. If you look long enough, hard enough, at the world around you, you will see it! But then again, I know people who can stare for hours and never see what’s right in front of their faces!
This hits me really hard because I've always been looked at as white growing up in East LA. And although I was raised with my mexican family there was a sense of "not teaching the kids spanish" more because it was a "secret" language that only the elders spoke. And yes my mom was born in the 60's and the schools encouraged my grandma not to teach it to them (because they are American) and yet now I'm in my sons pre-school class during a meeting and I don't know why but I'm getting really annoyed because the whole meeting is being said in both english/then repeated in spanish, and then I hear the teachers talking to all the kids for the whole hour in spanish and I'm just bothered. I feel like they should be trying to at least speak some English to the children or they will never learn!! and then comes the "shame" from being annoyed and bothered. I feel the same way when people say that this was mexico and it was their land... no, this land belongs the the indians and it will always be theirs it is tainted with their blood. forever.
ReplyDelete